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  1. #1
    Senior Investor
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Default In The Beginning....

    No matter your politics, it's funny.

    Beer & Stuff You Need To Know

    Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic Hunters/Gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

    The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the Wheel. The Wheel was invented to get Man to the beer.

    These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity
    into two distinct subgroups:

    Liberals and Conservatives.

    Once Beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

    Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our Early Humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the Brewery. That's how Villages were formed.

    Some Men spent their days tracking and killing animals to
    BBQ at night while they were drinking Beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative Movement.

    Other Men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal

    Some of these Liberal Men eventually evolved into
    Women. The rest became known as Girlie Men.

    Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy,
    group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to
    decide how to divide the meat and beer that
    Conservatives provided.

    Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the Elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the Jackass.

    Modern Liberals like Imported Beer (with lime added),
    but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.
    They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi,
    Tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare.

    Another interesting evolutionary side note: most Liberal Women have higher testosterone levels than their Men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood , and group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented the Designated-Hitter Rule because it wasn't fair to make the Pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink Domestic Beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their Women. Conservatives are Big-Game Hunters, Rodeo Cowboys, Lumberjacks, Construction Workers, Firemen, Medical Doctors, Police Officers, Corporate Executives, Athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want
    to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the Producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals also believe Europeans are more enlightened
    than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals
    remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed
    and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

    Here ends today's lesson in World History: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this History that it will be forwarded immediately to other True Believers and to more Liberals just to tic them off!

    Nenosplace - In The Beginning.... - @

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Mid TN
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    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts


    LOL Thats the truth. Liberals stink!
    Just Waitin!!!!!!

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    outside the box
    Feedback Score
    Thanked 145 Times in 10 Posts

    Default not a liberal

    Des pite my better judgment I must respond to this with
    Livin' outside the box.

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
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    Ya can always tell a liberal.

    Ya just canít tell them much!


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