Dinar "Gossip $ Fun" Thread!!!!

[smillenace]

Do you need a silencer if you shot a mime?

if the 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day 365 days a year why are there locks on the door?

if a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

if youre in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

how does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

huuuuummm!?

[$onedaysoon$]

Yo mama's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a Mobile phone

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

[neno]

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos
around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet
fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the
shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in
monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we
want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
At least you know someone who can post your
bail."

And................ THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? .. You're right, we
don't. .... Sign here.

[smillenace]

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people think shes backing up

Yo mama so fat she eats wheat thicks

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

[MrsCK]

Neno My Mom's A Dallas Police Officer That Is A Trainer Of The D.r.e. Program And She Will Loves These!!!

[MrsCK]

Yo mama so fat she uses the freeway as a slip and slide

[everwiser]

Yo mama's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a Mobile phone

Yo mama's so fat small people orbit her.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The biggest problem with common sense is that "sense" is not all that "common".

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm the rest of his life.

[nikki]

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had
a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might
have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the
medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well
known Chinese sex therapist. So she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "Ok, take
off all you crose." The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of
room."

The woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said,
"Ok, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem
vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see,
dat why you not haf sex or dates"

Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is
Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed
Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike
your ass."


It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.....

[Bubba Dinar]

Yo' Mama is so large that her Butt has its own Zip Code!!

[neno]

Now that was down right funny .....or....nasty...or both???