I've found a stock investment where you can't lose.
It is true, it doesn't matter if the market tanks. If it does, you still get your initial investment back. Guaranteed by Merrill Lynch. There are at least a dozen of them being traded on the AMEX and NASDAQ. They are called MITTS- Market Index Target Term Securities and created by Merrill Lynch.
You can read all about it here: MITTS: A “Secret” No Risk, Can’t Lose Stock Investment | One World Income
If you have some long term expectations, this could be good for your portfolio.