Why do some intelligent people like to be alone?

If you are going to ask a question, it is improper to disable comments.

If you just wanted to write an opinion piece, the title would have been more accurately phrased in the form of a statement.

I used to be a social butterfly. Always went out on Friday and Saturday night. Lived with my wife and the girlfriend we shared. We went out partying every weekend and took many vacations. I had a group of 5 close friends that I saw almost daily. Then I moved to a place where I knew no one. I was used to the big Apple, NYC, where people came in all sizes and flavors. I now live in rural America surrounded by cows and horses. Most people around here are from the Mid West. They long for the good old days. Many do not curse and will not watch a movie where they curse or there is even partial nudity.

As someone who others have told is intelligent, my biggest problem is finding others who share my eclectic tastes. The guys around here want to play golf, drink, swim, drink, eat and drink. In NYC I always found guys into the same things I am but not where I live now, so I have been a loner for the last 4 years. No friends. My wife had friends so we socialize with them but I do not hang out with them without her.

My sense of humor and type of conversations I like are unlike theirs. They want to just talk about the weather, golf, where to go to eat and normal stuff. I like deep conversations about meaningful topics. Good example today. We were talking about new cars and how driverless cars are already here. I made the comment that cars that drive themselves will face ethical questions and therefore so will the software programs that drive them. For instance, what if your car is heading towards a group of school girls who darted across the road. The car has two options. The first is to plow into the girls to save your life or turn the car sharply and hit a tree at 60 miles per hour. What does it do? Would your choice be different if you had your wife and kids in the car and it was either them or some strangers? Do you risk crashing into one car to avoid hitting another?

As soon as I brought this up someone said they never thought about that and abruptly changed the conversation by saying that they wished they had driver side cameras too. I asked why wasn’t the mirror good enough as it can see as well as the camera and too many screens to look at would be distracting. Once again the conversation went to something else. I could not draw anyone into a conversation that required them to think deeply or logically. This is why I am a loner.

People seem to think there is something wrong with people who want to be alone. Like we have some psychological problem. I am very happy without being obligated to others or having to make compromises as to what to do when we go out with them. I do not need to be called up to drive someone somewhere when I want to relax or be brought into or subjected to their drama. Every hobby I have I can do alone. I do not need others to enjoy any of my hobbies. I have the internet to communicate with people who are interested in the same things I am in special interest forums. I have my TV and between Cable and Internet channels, more stuff that I can ever watch. I like my music and my work. I am very happy and can do whatever the hell I want to. I do not have to go out just to not make someone mad at me. I do not have to be careful not to slight one friend over another. I do exactly like I want to do and nothing that I do not want to do.

You are not just “intelligent” you seem to be HSP, I am, bumped into an article by chance two weeks ago and it has changed the way I see life a lot. By the way you should have enabled comments.


Source: https://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-in...ke-to-be-alone