1- Zero Gravity:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly
discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and
$12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity,
upside-down, on almost any surface including glass
and at temperatures ranging from below freezing
to over 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Your taxes are due again.
Enjoy paying them.

2 -Our Constitution:
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq.
Why don't we just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
it's worked for over 200 years
and we're not using it anymore.

3 - Ten Commandments:
The real reason that we can't have the
Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post
"Thou Shalt Not Steal", Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shalt Not Lie"
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians!
It creates a hostile work environment.