What happens when a sociopath and a narcissist get married?
I have seen first hand EXACTLY what happens when a sociopath and a narcissist get married.
A true narcissist and a sociopath together are a ‘perfect storm’ of dysfunction !
It happened in my immediate family.
My uncle, an outright sociopath announced to the family back in 1972 that he was getting married, to a woman he’d known one week.
This woman turned out to be one of the most detached, self centred, narcissistic people you could ever meet and the two of them did indeed get married within 3 weeks of knowing one another. Within a short time it became one of the most volatile, dysfunctional (and eventually violent) relationships you could possibly imagine.
She was a semi-hippie who took selfishness and emotional detachment to unprecedented levels. He was a uniform police offer with a controlling personality, an uncontrollable temper and a penchant for pathological lying.
They were totally mismatched and totally addicted to one another. They thrived in the conflict that arose from their differences and had a Jekyll and Hyde relationship.
She would claim later that she was the victim of horrendous domestic abuse, and there definitely was abuse, but she also thrived in the ‘high’ of the conflict and would provoke him deliberately.
He, the sociopath, would rage - and throw tantrums to get his way. When confronted about getting caught lying he would project and throw a tantrum to try and stun her and others into not asking questions. He once held a shotgun to her head during an argument and within a day she was back to sitting on his knee offering him a cup of coffee. This was the socio-narc dance that they danced.
She, the narcissist, would quietly go about putting herself first, second, third and so on in an ever-so-entitled-condescending manner, which would fuel their arguments.
They then decided to bring two helpless children into the equation.
This is where the trauma and neglect and dysfunction between a sociopath and a narcissist truly came to its greatest emotional carnage.
My cousins were the most neglected, unloved children growing up in that toxic marriage that I have ever personally experienced.
The sociopath and the narcissist guide to raising their children;
put yourself, your needs, your desires and your agenda before the children every time, all the time
sleep in until 11am and let your 3 year old child get their own breakfast (dry cereal without milk)
when the children are old enough, get THEM to do all of the meal preparations
continue sleeping in while that 3 year old dresses herself …. without underwear, and takes herself to a deserted playground on a Sunday morning
dump your kids on anybody who will take them …. ANYBODY. This can be a mom and daughter you just met at the park … if they offer to babysit, accept ! A neighbour you hardly know …. to hell with it, anyone will do as long as the narcissist and sociopath get to pursue their own interests and somebody else looks after their kids.
dump your kids on your sister in law, tell her it’s for an overnight stay then don’t return to pick up your child until 4 days later. Without any explanation. Hell, if the sister in law is stupid enough to do it, let her!
allow your child’s nappy rash to get to third degree burn stage until a carer such as an aunt or grandmother took care of it
as your children get older, tell them “I love you, but I don’t like you”
go on spiritual holidays to an ashram in India whilst leaving your 12 & 10 year old children at home on a large country property to fend for themselves. Make sure you show them all your holiday photos of YOURSELF on holiday to them when you return (hopefully they’re still alive).
when your daughter hits the difficult teen years, banish her from your house at 15 and tell her that “delinquent children need to be cut”. Then pack her on a train to her 80 year old grandfather’s house and let him and your in-laws take over the responsibility.
The list of what went on with these two is a sad, long story of breathtaking selfishness and emotional misery for their invisible children.
Ultimately, the toxic mix of a Narc and a Socio together seemed to result in them becoming obsessed with each other, and almost forgetting that they even had children. The Socio ends up being quite ruthlessly cruel and malicious (ability to cut his own children from his life the moment they become difficult) and the Narcissist just doesn’t care because s/he is unaffected by the plight of her children.
They really do create the ultimate blended personality disorder of abuse and dysfunction together.
Needless to say, my uncle and aunty lasted about a decade together which ended in one of the most acrimonious, hateful divorces I have ever seen. The sociopath uncle had to cut his ex-wife as though she had never existed and then set about trying to destroy her in the usual malevolent sociopath manner when they have been left by their partner. He hasn’t spoken to his daughter for over 30 years because he cut her when she was 15 and she reminds him of his ex-wife.
The children from this screwed up mess are now in their 40s and have only just started coming to terms with why they felt so unloved and unwanted through their childhood and have done years of counselling.
Their narcissist mother (now a teen counsellor … Yes, a teen counsellor !) tells them she’s “sorry they feel that way about their childhood” …. she says she has no memory of these “stories about their childhood” and only remembers them having a “beautiful childhood”.
Their sociopath father hasn’t had anything to do with them since he targeted the wealthy only daughter of a farming family and reinvented himself 25 years ago.
That’s my Narc Socio together story !
Source: QUORA
