When and how did you find out you couldn't have children?

So a close friend of my mum’s has become infertile and completely unable to have her own biological children because she has had a hysterectomy for health reasons. She's quite young (28) and when my mum asked her how she felt she responded that it was a weight off her shoulders and she didn't have..

I was about 11 years old.

Against my dad’s wishes, my (probably narcissistic, but almost certainly hypochondriac) mother secretly brought me to a doctor to be evaluated for delayed puberty. My mom was pretty convinced that both she and I had MEN-1 (Multiple endocrine neoplasia-type 1, which is an autosomal dominant inherited endocrine disorder in which tumors tend to grow in the pancreas, pituitary, and parathyroid glands, among others). They examined me, but I don’t remember much other than my mom laughing and seemingly having a good ol’ time with the (male) doctor, despite the seriousness of what she believed was going on with me.

On the car ride home her behavior and mood changed—she was suddenly very serious (crying), turned to me and said, “you know, you may never be able to have kids,” or something to that effect.

It took me many years to realize how devastating this was to me, and for a long time I believed without question that she must be right. She was a nurse, after all, and very smart. Furthermore, she was my mother, and I never imagined she was being irresponsible or self-absorbed to be thrusting such sensitive information on my young self.

Since I thought I would never have the option of having children (I pretended never to want them, anyway, as a teen, just to protect my heart from that hurt) or get to experience any of the joys of having a family of my own, my self esteem was pretty poor and I fully expected to live a lonely life. The fear and expectation of being alone was compounded when my mom moved out suddenly when I was not quite 13. I became certain that I was unlovable.

Fast forward to today: I have a supportive partner, a biochemistry degree, and most precious of all, five beautiful kids. AND a great therapist.

I am very, very, very blessed, and I know this in my bones every day.

Whether or not genetic testing ultimately revealed an endocrine disorder is moot.

Diagnosis (or emotional abuse of a childhood self) is not destiny.


Source: QUORA