You don't know Jack Schitt

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of
Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious
couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and
because her kids were living
With them she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken
Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and
subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The
wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt,
the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.
So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct
them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!