BANK OF ENGLAND'S NEW FACILITY!
The Bank of England wishes to inform all its clients that we are
installing new "drive-through" cash machines, which will enable our
customers to
withdraw money without leaving their vehicles.
Please follow the instructions below:
For our MALE customers:
1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Open your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive off.
For our FEMALE customers:
:D :D :D :D
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with machine
3. Restart stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door for easier access to cash machine, due to its excessive distance from car
9. Insert card
10. After 'Invalid Card' is displayed, remove Tesco card, and insert bank machine card
11. Remove bank card
12. Re-insert card right way up
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
14. Enter PIN
15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN
16. Enter amount of cash required
17. Check make-up in rear-view mirror
18. Retrieve card
19. Empty handbag to locate card holder and place card inside
20. Place receipt in back of cheque book
21. Re-check make-up
22. Drive forward 2 meters
23. Reverse back to cash machine
24. Retrieve cash
25. Re-empty handbag, locate purse and place cash inside
26. Restart stalled engine and pull off
27. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometers
28. Release handbrake.
