You Might Be A Redneck...

YOU MIGHT BE REDNECK IF .......
-- Your computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's
and cinderblocks.
-- You think www. in a url is a logo for a wrestling organization.
-- Someone tells You they're "locked up" and You ask if they need bail
money.
-- You've ever been too drunk to chat.
-- Your screen saver is a confederate flag and plays Dixie.
-- You think a hard drive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's.
-- Your mouse keeps knocking over your spitcan.
-- You think a surge supressor is a pill for diarrhea.
-- You keep trying to figure out why your scanner won't pick up police
radio calls.
-- You think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds.
-- You have to ask someone how to spell LOL.
-- You stomach overlaps half of your keyboard.
-- You try to figure out how to get your empty beer cans into the
recycling bin.
-- You try to turn on Your computer with the remote.
-- You try to figure out how Your floppy disk got hard.
-- You play Frisbee with your CD Rom's.
-- You find yourself on the floor looking into your
"A Drive" yelling 'Give it back! Give it Back'.
-- When birds fly across your screen an you reach for Your
shotgun.
-- You put a mousetrap on your desk.
-- Your yard is full of old computers stacked on cinder blocks.
-- You use Your CD-ROM drive as a beer holder.
-- You call tech support an ask where to buy stamps for your e-mail.
-- When You tern your computer on you say, "Come OOOOOOON Betsy."
-- You think system wizard is a dude in a funny hat.
-- You think 64 M RAM is a new big block engine for Your pickup.
-- You think ICQ is how smart your computer is.
-- Someone tells you that your computer has a bug an you reach for the
can of Raid.
-- You think a mouse pad is where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang.
-- You go buy a surfboard to surf the net.
-- You think your homepage is where you really live.
-- You give directions to a website that include a person, animal, or
old barn.
-- You think MB stands for "More Beer."
-- You wait for the Bluelight special at K-Mart to buy your computer.
-- You see the word Download, and take the shells out of your shotgun.
-- You think the person that made your keyboard was dumb 'cuz the
letters
aren't in order.
-- You think pushing the delete key will make your ol' lady disappear.
-- You think CD stands for Cow Dung.
-- You think GIF stands for "Goodie It's Free."
-- You think Mirabilis is a new brand of smokes.
-- You see the "shift" key and try to figure out how to change gears.
-- You wonder why your screen saver ain't wearing a cape like that
there superhero on the cartoons.
-- You think screen saver is a new flavor o' candy.
-- You think Geocities is a place to buy little cars.
-- You catch yourself trying to smell the little flower on your ICQ
contact list.
-- You think the "A drive" is where you park your pickup.
-- You see the word "Zip" and know why you were feeling a draft.
-- Your computer has a bumper sticker on it.
-- Part of Your computer is held together with duct tape.
-- You sees the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler for another
beer.
-- Your in a chat room and someone asks where your from and you reply,
"My momma."
-- You sees the word "Website" and start looking for spiders.