why Our Government Is In The Shape It Is In!
A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country
is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to Explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then
she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response
- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did.
I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's
not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!" (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But
they look so close on the map." (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in
Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I
noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big
airport, and we will need a car to drive between
gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30
am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead
of
Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think
that's very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT -
Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it
be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I
know which plane to get on?" I asked him what
exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
none of these planes have
numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I
have to get on one of those little computer
planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She
said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in
order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay
required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four
times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York ." I was at a loss
for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came
back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino
anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be
silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the
state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew
it was a big animal."
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in.
