A Crypto Safety For Doofuses


We received a great question from a fellow doofus.

The reader wrote:

“For a person like me who has a bad habit of forgetting passwords, how would it make sense to get into cryptos, since they involve a unique string of 150+ characters and digits that you must never lose? If you lose this code, you lose all your money… right? Or was I misinformed? And if this IS true, how many doofuses, er, people have lost their money this way?”

Thanks for the question.

On this subject, you have not been misinformed. It is indeed true. If you lose your password -- also known as a seed phrase -- you can lose your money.

This is the trade-off of self-custody… of “being your own bank.”

And yes… many doofuses have lost their money by forgetting their passwords. Including this doofus. Fortunately, it was a negligible amount and a valuable lesson.

And for the doofuses like us…

It’s a good idea to have a few tricks up your sleeve when it comes to storing the "seed phrase."

I’ll share some tricks in a moment.

First, what's a seed phrase? A seed phrase is a 12 to 24-word random sequence of words that can restore your wallet.

seed phrase
If you use a hardware wallet, you are familiar. If not, we'll get to that.

master key
Your seed phrase is your master key. Keep it safe and you can unlock your wallet anywhere in the world, from hundreds of different crypto wallets.


To the question: How does a doofus keep this seed phrase safe?

Here are a few tips and ideas that this doofus has found:

> Safety first: Don't keep your seed phrase online, in the cloud, or on your computer. Don't take a picture of it, unless it's a polaroid. (Hackers can find it.) Don't print it out. (Printers hold a history.) Don't share your seed phrase with “customer support staff.” (This is a common scam. No legit company will EVER ask.) Don't give your private key to anyone promising to send you crypto. (Common scam.) Don't use a pre-generated seed phrase. (Another common scam.) Only use a seed phrase you generated yourself. How do you generate an ultra-safe one yourself? I’ll tell you…

> Buy a hardware wallet: Hardware wallets are physical devices that keep your seed phrase (and private keys) offline. They are also known as "cold storage" (as opposed to "hot," or connected to the Internet). When you use a hardware wallet, your seed phrase is generated offline. We recommend Trezor, Ledger, and SafePal. NEVER buy these hardware wallets from a third party. Always buy direct from the companies. When you set up the wallet, per the instructions, as mentioned, you'll generate your seed phrase. Keep this seed phrase safe. How?

> Write it down in a few places: Again, please, never keep your seed phrase on your computer... and definitely never online. You always want to write it down and put it in a safe place. Some write it down and place it in several places. I'm sure you can think of a few creative hiding spots for small pieces of paper. Just remember: if someone you can't trust finds it, and happens to know what it is... poof. Kiss your coins bye bye. What's the ABSOLUTE safest way to store it?

> Store it in steel: "cryptosteel" cold storage are small steel tubes or plates. They come with a box of small steel letters. You put your seed phrase in it with the letters, close it up, and keep it in a safe place. The benefit, of course, is it's protected from fire, water, or most freak accidents. If you don't plan on touching your crypto for a while, this is a great option. You can even bury it in an undisclosed location... just make sure a raccoon can't dig it up. (I'm not even half joking. They love shiny metal things.) If you're a clever doofus, consider our next tip:

> Hide it in plain sight: This is purely optional. It requires a bit of creativity and a deft hand. Someone I know said he wanted to self-publish a book with his seed phrase cleverly hidden within the book. He never did it. (OR did he???) An example might be: Every 4th word on page 44. You don't have to publish a book. Perhaps you could write a poem, frame it, and hang it on your wall. Attribute it to some long dead poet (who may or may not exist) and just tell your family and friends it "spoke to you." If that is completely out of character, and would furrow some brows, consider writing a letter to yourself from a long-lost friend. (An exercise in trying out new penmanship?) Or write a short story, a song, or a strange shopping list. I’m just spitballing here… but I think you get the point. Whatever you do, just don't tell anyone what you've done.

With these tips… and a little common sense…

Even a doofus can keep crypto safe.

Author: Chris Campbell

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