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  1. #1
    Senior Investor Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    chemistry mid-term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound"
    that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
    is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

    Bonus Question:
    Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
    So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
    rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
    once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
    Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of
    their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
    these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
    religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
    exponentially.
    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
    because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
    pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
    proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
    souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell! will
    increase until all Hell breaks loose.
    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
    souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
    freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
    Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
    you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
    then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
    and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since
    Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls
    and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
    existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
    shouting "Oh my God."

    ????THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
    _________________________________________
    Nothing is impossible, the impossible only takes longer time!

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  3. #2
    Co-Admin YogiBrood's Avatar
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    Default

    Awww crikey...was that what it was last night?...all that creaky sounds vibrating through the floorboards!!!

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